Parenting with Purpose: Connection Over Consumption

Parenting isn’t about pleasing kids. It’s not a function of earning enough money to grant them their wishes. It’s neither about ensuring that whatever your parents couldn’t afford for you in your childhood, you’ll get it for your kids. If this is your ‘parenting goal’ and you’re ready to put endless hours in work to realize this ‘dream’, you’re missing the whole point of parenting.

Moreover, decision of buying anything for kids should not have a binary relationship with your financial capacity i.e. if you can afford it, you’ll buy it. There should be more questions attached to buying decision. For example, does my kid really need it? Is it good for them? Is it going to add any value to their skillset? etc.

Similarly, buying decision shouldn’t be linked with how much hue and cry your kid is making for a particular toy. Kids throw tantrums and parents use their defense mechanism of patience to a certain point, and after that, they give in. Once kid has got that toy, it’s now even harder to take it back from them even if parents realize that it’s not good for the kid. My daughter got a barbie doll as a gift on her birthday, and we weren’t sure about it. We let her play with barbie doll and in matter of few days, we realized that our concerns were valid. We had to take it back from her and it wasn’t easy. She took almost a week to get over that and it required continuous consultation, explaining her why barbie doll isn’t a good toy for her.

Kids are innocent and they don’t bury things deep in their hearts. They move on quick, and parents need to understand that refusing a toy isn’t going to have any scar on their kid’s mental health. Haven’t you observed how kids treat toys within a few days of arrival? Something that they weren’t even ready to detach from themselves while sleeping last week, is now lying around the corner and they don’t even look at it. They want something new now. They’ve moved on.

So dear parents, don’t exhaust yourself in pursuit of money. Come out of this misunderstanding that providing materialistic enjoyment is prime responsibility of parents. No, it’s not. Rather, spend your time with them. Fill it with quality stuff like telling stories, walk around the block, playing card games, etc. That’s the way you build connection with them, and this connection allows you to instill the right values. This bond empowers you to nurture their soul and raise them up on the path of righteousness.